This past week was a tough one. I went back to work, which was inspiring, but also brought along stress that I wasn’t expecting. My middle son was off which caused a lot of tears and tantrums. I felt as though I had hit a thousand roadblocks in developing my small business, and that I started the week from behind and never did get ahead. I decided I needed to step away from some of the stressors in my life, and take the weekend to spend time with friends, family and the outdoors. With that, today I sat outside in the sun while my kids played in the pool and I listened to Betsy and Laura Milne’s Luscious Living Podcast about fear.
When I started this business three weeks ago fear wasn’t something that even crossed my mind. I was so inspired and excited to start helping other mothers. Last week my head was somewhere else. The excitement and the inspiration was gone and I was feeling stressed. Working as a nurse, being a mom and starting a new business felt so overwhelming. At the beginning of the Podcast, Laura and Betsy talk about negative thoughts. They discuss how you need TEN positive thoughts to undo only ONE negative thought. I sat back and thought to myself WOW, no wonder last week I was feeling so awful! I would have needed at least 1,000 positive thoughts to undo all of my negative thoughts, and so when I sat back and thought about where my head was at- I had a hard time finding any positive thoughts I had. I couldn’t see my wins, only my losses. Why was this happening? After further listening to the Podcast I realized that it was fear- that’s what was causing me to feel this way.
What was I afraid of? Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of the unknown. I was able to quickly identify many fears I was having and see I was letting my fear hold me back. It was preventing me from seeing clearly and from thinking positively. I wasn’t taking the necessary risks that I needed to in order to succeed or move forward, and I was stuck in a rut of constant negativity. I took the advice of the Podcast and wrote down my fears, and after reviewing them, realized that in fact, they really aren’t that scary after all! I thought about the worst-case scenarios and they weren’t all that bad, all things considered.
The rest of the day I made a conscious effort to change my way of thinking. Instead of jumping to a negative thought, I tried finding the positives. I sat down and thought about 10 positive things just from the morning… and admittedly, they weren’t that big. For example, one was that I was able to drink my coffee while it was still hot (and honestly, sometimes as a mom of three that just isn’t possible)! I spent the day outside with my children which was a lot of fun to watch. I felt something inside of me change. The inspiration and excitement started to come back! I thought about what I was going to do tomorrow, and what I could accomplish. I was going to start my day with positive thinking and intentions and I also realized I can apply this simple context or frame to help my clients as well.
I started to think about how this applies to the mamas I help. When you are in the thick of motherhood and sleep deprived, it’s hard to find the positives or the small victories, but I can help my clients find the good things that occurred in their day. Maybe their baby was up two times last night, but they went to bed without any crying. Or, instead of crying 15 minutes before nap there was only 5. If I can help them recognize these smaller wins and start their days with positive thoughts, then maybe the negative things can take the back burner!
My goal for the week is not to let fear hold me back by focusing on being positive. I’m going to take those risks and choose to be positive and am so excited to help moms find this feeling too. I’m going to start every day with a positive thought and intention. I challenge you to do the same!
You can listen to Betsy and Laura Milne talk about fear on The Luscious Living Podcast Episode #2 available on iTunes or at lusciousliving.podbean.com.
Sherry Thom, RN, Lactation Counselor