How to Tell When You Are Done Having Kids

By Kate Macdonald

September 10, 2020

Mama’s there isn’t a straight forward answer for most of you! Some mamas know exactly how many kids they want and are blessed to get that magic number.  There are many of you that take it, one child, at a time, and see how you feel about adding on another addition when the time comes.  But keep in mind some mama’s don’t get this chance at all and be mindful of that.  Being able to choose and know when you are done having kids is a very blessed decision you have to make. And you have to do what is right for you!!!  

Personally, I took one baby at a time.  I didn’t want to put pressure on our family with having a “set” number in my head.  A big thing for me was the timing of my kids, I didn’t want to have mine too close together and after the first two, there was no way I was even considering another baby until after 2 years had gone by. I feel the spacing of your babies really changes how you feel about wanting to have another baby or helps make the decision to be done having babies altogether. 

Years of diapers and lack of sleep can really play a role in knowing if you finally feel that you are happy with your decision of being done having kids.  You get to a point once your baby is out of diapers that on many occasions you think, ”Do I really want to have another baby and do 3 years of diapers and be so up many times a night again???”

For me the answer was NO – we are done diapers finally after 9 years. NINE YEARS of DIAPERS!! And even though I have odd moments when I think, “Oh maybe just one more baby”, no way!  I am happy with our decision and feel at peace with it. Life is so much easier, no diapers, all three are potty trained and we are done naps!  We never have to be home for a nap ever again!! Wahoo!!  We can even stretch bedtime and go out or stay up later with them. It was a hard decision for me and it is sad to think there won’t be any more squishy babies to snuggle, but this new season we are in is different and it is so much fun too!

We all know kids are adorable and they are expensive!  So, when you are planning for your family, often families consider how many kids they have based on what their finances look like.  Planning for education, vacations, or even having to get a new vehicle or a bigger home all comes into consideration. Many people have kids regardless of this but I know many people consider this when it comes down to discussing whether they want more kids or not.

Another big factor for some families is health.  Maybe a mama has a new health concern or their child has been diagnosed with a medical condition.  This circumstance plays a huge part in whether you physically can have another child from a mama’s health perspective. Having a child with a medical condition can be all-consuming and trying for a baby at the same time may or may not be a good fit for your family.  Again, it comes back to doing what feels right for you and your family!

There are so many factors that you consider when planning for another little one or knowing if your family is complete. For some of you as soon as you have that last baby you have an overwhelming feeling of being D-O-N-E. And others it takes time for that feeling of being done to fade. 

All of these feelings are completely normal. Just take your time to figure out what feels right and I hope that you find peace when your decision is made. You got this Mama! 

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