Caring for the caregiver

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As mamas, we often struggle to take care of ourselves. Am I right about that? We focus on the day-to-day tasks that need to get done:  entertaining the little ones, cooking, cleaning,  laundry, etc. Momming is hard! No one could have prepared me for this. I often find I compare myself to my own mother who is the absolute queen in my eyes. She is able to get everything done, never stops, and her work ethic is a tough one to beat.

That being said, comparison is not healthy for anyone. It’s toxic. We all have different goals and priorities. We all have different circumstances. But I do think that every mama can agree that we all need a break sometimes. Whether it be a night out with girlfriends, a walk outside alone, putting a mask on and watching Bachelor in Paradise, or having a date night, it is all so rejuvenating for our souls. And definitely needed.

Becoming a nurse before a mama has taught me so much about self-care, even though it’s still a struggle for me. Constantly caring for others, thinking of their needs before my own (with a full bladder) and working tirelessly at all hours to make sure “everyone is okay.” It’s rewarding, thrilling, and so important, but can be so difficult. Physically and emotionally. Having the knowledge and expertise to make sure a birth experience is safe and seamless is one of the best jobs in the world. But caregivers need a break too.

Your children’s caregivers

Which brings me to talking about our children’s caregivers, specifically other family members. We need to take care of them and ensure that they are getting the breaks that they need so they don’t burn out. Yes, you need a break and deserve it, but so do they.

We live in a society where it’s common for the grandparents of our children to still be active in the work force, and that’s a huge difference when looking at how things were in previous generations. Grandparents would just be at home, not tackling full time jobs. These days, our parents are working and they’ve got a lot to handle just with that. They love their grandchildren more than anything in the world, but they had their time raising us with everything that they had. Our parents need a break. They’re tired. They’re (still) working. They don’t need little ones running around all the time. Occasionally, fine, but this is their time to shine and enjoy their freedom!! This is a big reason why my husband and I heavily rely on each other for breaks, leading to a deeper understanding of each others’ needs. We want our parents to relax – we know they’re busy – and we don’t usually get a lot of help unless it is SO needed. They are our children after all. It makes us stronger as a unit and as a family.

There is definitely a happy medium here that can be attained. We are lucky to have our parents close by to be able to build memories with our kids. I never got that growing up as my grandparents were living in Croatia far, far away. I’m grateful and honestly just super stoked whenever our kids can hang out with their grandparents. I just wanted to bring some light to caring for our children’s caregivers because it’s not an easy task. As parents, we’re just figuring it all out like everybody else. Maybe we should go on more date nights. Maybe we should have our kids away for more sleepovers just because. But the feeling that I have in this present moment is so strong; my husband and I want our parents to relax, live, and enjoy their peace.

Cue your tribe. Your village. Your mama friends. Your Mama Coach. Get help making your routine easier and better with your littles! Reach out and get the guidance that you need. It is possible, and with time I know you (and I) will learn the balance of being a mama, being a couple, and being yourself. We’re all a work in progress!

If you would let me be a part of your tribe, I’d love to meet you! Join me on September 12th in Westboro for a free mama meetup. More information here.

If you are expecting or if you’re a new mama, I’ll be at this incredible event on September 9th celebrating parenthood. Come check it out to learn how I can help make your motherhood easier. Use my coupon code MAMACOACH to receive a discount on your ticket!

 

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